The Shapes of Life

When my daughter was little, she loved sorting shapes. She would name the shapes and put them in the space they fit through precisely. She would gather them up and start the process over again happily; everything fitting just as it should.

I find myself reflecting, searching, seeking. I was reminded of those joyful moments of play in the early years of my daughter’s childhood. This first day of 2022 unfolds. An uncharted year on the horizon. The crisp page of a fresh, new calendar hangs on the wall.

I love order. Everything fitting in its rightful place, nothing askew. It’s comical, really, to try to maintain that kind of expectation in life. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the course of 2021, it’s that when I try to live under that expectation of perfection, I need to expect disappointment on its heels.

As I think about the coming year today, my mind settled on these words. Spend time with Him. Trust and surrender. No facade.

I’m reading C.S. Lewis’s The Silver Chair. Aslan, the allegorical representation of God, tells Jill the message she is to give Eustace over and over again before sending her on her journey. She must repeat it back to Aslan multiple times until he is sure she has it memorized. Reason being? The distractions she would face on the journey would lend to a drifting mind. Prone to wander. He needed to be sure she had solidly memorized the instructions he gave her so that she could recall them come what may.

I need this sort of repetition. I begin the day with coffee, quiet time, and prayer. But somehow, admittedly, within a short time after those quiet, focused moments, my mind is pulled toward the distractions and the stuff and the muddy moments any given day may present. When evening comes, that quiet time where I began the day steeped in Him feels miles away.

Spend time with Him. The word that comes to mind in conjunction with this phrase is intentionality. Repetition. Digging in. Refusing to allow distractions to fray my focus. Relying on Him like the trustworthy Friend He is that never leaves my side.

Trust and surrender. Order is synonymous to control. Like the shapes fitting so perfectly in their matching slots, I like for situations to work out seamlessly. But when I act under that mannerism, I’m pretending as though I actually have any bearing on the outcome. In this moment, I feel a lightening of my spirit. Areas I so fervently wish to remain in control of peel away, flowing freely upward in an invisible stream to His feet. I revel in the realization that those areas are already His anyway. I just have the unbelievable privilege to live for Him. Under His care. In His presence. If I get out of my own way.

Sometimes the shapes just don’t fit in life. I yearn desperately for the square to fit, but the only available space is circular. No dice. I look back over the playback reel of the last few years. Shapes that didn’t fit.

I think that’s where He does His best work. When we reach a place of honesty in our lives, mismatched shapes outstretched, pliantly leaning into Him. No facade. No misconstrued pretenses. Just living as authentic, real, broken people. Walking alongside each other, working out our faith, no judgement.

I want to focus on daily bread. Live in the moment. Relax. He’s holding all my shapes. He knows exactly where they need to go.

Psalm 121:3, “He will not let you be defeated. He who guards you never sleeps.” (ICB)

Matthew 6:11, “Give us this day our daily bread.” (NASB)

Psalm 62:5-8, “My soul, wait in silence for God alone, For my hope is from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
My refuge; I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my glory rest on God;
The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your hearts before Him;
God is a refuge for us.” (NASB)

Father God, thank You for bringing me through 2021. Through the highs and lows, the challenges and pitfalls, and the moments of exceeding joy. Thank You for Your mighty provision. Father, as this year begins, breathe a freshness of renewal over me. God, busyness looms, and multiple avenues vie for my focus. Show me Your way. Be my guide. I trust You and surrender my heart to Your guidance. Amen