Friendship Is Balm to the Soul
I celebrated a birthday at the end of June. I’m not going to disclose my level of antiquation, but as the El Arroyo sign says, “Please be patient with me. I’m from the 1900’s.”
My daughter asked me at one point that week, “Mom, do you need to just go take a nap?” I was trying to decide prioritization of my cleaning and laundry list, and I suppose it became like being in quicksand for a moment trying to figure out the best route to completion. Isn’t it ironic how tables turn full circle and aging can revert us to the needs of a toddler? Like a mandatory afternoon nap or else it’s all going to be over but the crying. Yes, climbing up the ladder of my forties does reflect an increase in the value of nap taking.
As we age, along with the appreciation of non-monetary items like the priceless value of sound sleep, the opportunity to relive good times with a dear friend is a particular delight.
Such was the case for my husband when a dear friend and his family were in town that weekend before shuffling their sons to camp and making the trek back to their home in Illinois.
As they reminisced about their own golden camp days of yesteryear, most sentences began with, “Remember when…” or “Oh, man, I can’t believe they let us do that…” or, with a look at the oldest son as he’s going into his first summer session of work at the camp, “Please don’t try this…the goal is for you to be employable again next summer…”
The fact that completed frontal lobe formation dictating a more supreme level of rational decision making isn’t complete until around the age of twenty-five is one-hundred percent proof of that fact being lived out here choice by choice.
One particular gem was the summer there was an apparent beef of a misunderstanding between two groups. One group thought the other had done something to them, and so it began. Brownies are delicious all-American treats known for their fudgy goodness, especially when served a la mode. Unless they’re laced with laxatives. My husband enjoyed this delectable dessert until later that night, in the most inconvenient of locations- in the middle of the dance, his stomach became aware of the fact that something wasn’t right.
He jokingly says that if you see him running, it’s serious. Either something is chasing him or shooting at him, and you’d better get in line with his sprint. Unless this night is taken into consideration when the sprint was for the one bathroom within the vicinity.
Then there was the summer my husband and his friend cooked together which resulted in a song written about my husband’s barbecue skills. You can type in “Hey Wade” on iTunes and give it a listen if you’d like. Somewhere in the mix was also a truck with a less than competent drivetrain that decided it had had enough for one day, took a break in the middle of the steepest incline road, and began careening backward toward the cliff to imminent peril. Angels were stationed on the hill that day as it came to a thrashing halt striking the one safety boulder at the base of the incline.
Many years later, my husband was contracted to take the calves to camp for the rodeo. That evening after supper, we walked down to the banks of the river where he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.
Friendship is a true treasure stewarded to us by a gracious Lord who designed us to live alongside one another.
I met my dear friend to celebrate my birthday, and before we knew it, two hours had passed as we hashed some woes, encouraged one another, and laughed hysterically at any number of calamities that have befallen us lately. Friendship is balm to our soul, as she likes to say.
David and Jonathan’s friendship, while an unlikely pairing, always strikes me as a reflection of the kindness and favor of how God weaves the tapestry of our lives for the good.
David, anointed as the next king, became a threat to Saul. Envy and comparison became Saul’s leaders, and eventually evil overtook him.
1 Samuel 18:3, “And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.” (NIV)
Jonathan was loyal to David even though his father was Saul. The son of the enemy plotting to kill David would be his great confidant and faithful friend. Even aiding David to skirt the death plots of Saul.
Several times in chapters 18-20 Jonathan says that he loves David as he loves himself. The bond of friendship is balm to the soul. It’s a vital provision from the Lord. A provision reflected through David and Jonathan’s example of sound council, steadfastness in lament, cheering on, and hugs through weeping when the struggle of the current plight is too much to bear.
Years ago, my friend and I used a large Whole Foods reusable grocery bag as what we deemed our ‘traveling wellness bag’. We even Sharpied that on the side of it. We were in a season when someone in our family was ill for what felt like months. When one went down, we would fill it with provisions and door drop it. Inevitably, in a short span of time, the other would need it, so we’d do the same for each other one door drop at a time.
As the years peel off my calendar page, I am increasingly filled with an overflowing abundance of gratitude for this friendship. A fridge clean out because it went out overnight and the timeline for salvageability of condiments is slim. Door deliveries of meals when our parents were or are ill. Championing one another’s children and encouraging one another to the tune of the fact that we actually are parenting to the best of our ability, and His grace is sufficient for us! Spiritual conversations and dissections and prayers through tears of gratitude and heartache.
Friendship truly is balm to the soul.
Father, thank You for the gift of the friendships You have given me in my life. Thank You for the example You provide in Your Word to teach us and guide us in living alongside one another. Help us to see ways we can participate with You to strengthen each other and spur one another on toward closer fellowship with You. Thank You, gracious Lord, for the gift of laughter and the wellspring of delight it creates within us. Open my eyes, Lord. I want to see You clearly and unobstructedly. Lead the way. Amen.
I am praying for all impacted by the tragic flooding. May the God of peace comfort all navigating grief and loss in the days ahead.