I turned off the alarm. I wouldn’t need it this morning. No need for it to chime me awake. I’d been awake for close to an hour. Thinking. Praying. Thinking some more. Willing myself not to think. Praying. Trying to go back to sleep. Thinking about sleep. Willing myself to go back to sleep. Just before 5, I decided to head for the Keurig. Two days ago, we celebrated my dad’s honorary seventieth birthday with homemade apple pie and vanilla Blue Bell. Four years. Four years since I gave him his last birthday hug. We didn’t know then that time was fleeting. It was just a normal Tuesday afternoon. That’s…

I was out for a morning walk, contemplating life as I know it. A thunderstorm the night before wreaked havoc emitting hail from the clutches of the clouds. I pondered the dichotomy of beauty around me juxtaposed to the detriment the night before. Blooms peaked through from their hiding places. Blades of grass upheld droplets of water, thankful for the nourishment. Thick humidity hung in the atmosphere. Gone were the winds of yesterday. Stillness enveloped the morning. Or so I thought. The dog came out of nowhere. Ferocious barking shattered my pensive thoughts. After my initial jolt of shock, my gait slowed so as not to make any sudden movements…

My nerves begin to sing as the first day of school inches closer. A dear mentor who has been teaching longer than I’ve been alive once told me that if you are not nervous before the first day of school, it is time to think about a career change. With teaching comes great responsibility. Parents are sending educators the apples of their eye to lead, guide, and direct in good faith that their children will be better for the time they’ve spent in our care. It’s the Saturday before school starts. Despite my efforts for complete respite this morning, multiple lists of things I need to accomplish in my classroom…

I came across this throwback piece of writing recently and am sharing it with my daughter’s permission. We laughed so hard at the memory of this moment. Let’s be honest…the last few months have presented no shortage of challenges. But almost every night my daughter includes a simple phrase in her prayer- Thank You, Lord, for what I’ve been able to do today. Some of those days didn’t even involve leaving the house. She inspires me every day, and I am humbled and blessed that God chose me to be her mom. Gratitude trumps grumbling. Laughter is the best medicine. July. Burning hot lava days. My daughter and I grabbed…

I gazed into our backyard imagining beautiful flowers interspersed with a few succulents inhabiting a small triangular flowerbed in the corner of our yard. I shared this vision with my husband to which he replied after a few seconds of contemplation, “Ang, you can’t even keep a cactus alive…” My sister and her family recently went on vacation, and I helped tend to a few things at her house in their absence. One of which was watering her beautiful garden. In my aforementioned lack of green thumb state, I grabbed the hose and went to watering. The only problem was that I wasn’t quite sure which of the smaller plants…

Summer has officially begun with all its sweat filled glory. My birthday gift from my husband and daughter last year was a new bike. It’s pretty stupendous and totally my speed- a hot pink and black cruiser with a cozy seat, basket on the front for essentials, and whitewall tires. I’ve never been an off-road kind of girl. To put my relationship with nature in perspective, my parents found a way to hookup a small TV and VCR in the pop-up camper on our family camping trips so that I could take a break and watch Care Bears in the heat of the day. But this bike has given me…

Rewind three years to early July. My sister picked me up before dawn to make a little day trip. A typical sister trip might entail antiquing, finding off the beaten path bargains, or the hunt for a favorite new lunch spot. We were headed to the cemetery. Our father’s battle with brain cancer was in the final stages, and we had been given specific instructions on how the monument at the graveside was to be set. While funeral arrangements may seem like taboo table discussion, over the course of the journey, we had the blessing of time to discuss exactly what he wanted. We pulled into the cemetery in Valera,…

I’m slightly neurotic. I know we are to put our best selves forward, but sometimes my best self looks a lot like trying to salvage some sort of sanity in the midst of a meltdown. Major change is not exactly something I always handle with grace and poise. In this particular episode of change, we were relocating for my husband’s job after being in our home for eight short months. The timing really was perfect, but looking for a house in a booming market proved incredibly stressful, seeking a new teaching job for myself, and scouting the best childcare facility was just a pile of epic decisions all at one…

Crazed is a multiple meaning word. It can refer to someone being wildly out of control or a network of fine cracks on a surface. My grandmother’s plates are my favorite plates to use, and I cherish them. I noticed recently after washing one that it was crazing. Fine cracks spread out across the surface of the plate. Still usable. Held together on the outside by the glaze…but crazed. In the new Mary Poppins film, every second Wednesday of the month things turn upside down for the character, Topsy. Literally. Everything in her home flips upside down for the entirety of the day. Topsy tells her cousin that she can’t…

The Meeting of the Waters is a phenomenon of particular interest to me. For miles, the Hershey-colored waters of the Rio Negro and the Pecan Sandies- colored Amazon River flow side by side before converging. Different water temperatures and composition of materials put the waters at odds. Fingers of waters jut into each other like shifting shadows for miles as each side jockeys for position within the banks. My heart feels much like this of late. Like Peter Pan chasing his shadow. Just when he thinks he’s got it, it darts from one place to another. Shifting shadows. Until he finally gets a stronghold on it. I want my mind…